A Booker's Plea

[reprinted from my blog at http://humormecomedy.blogspot.com/]

Dear Comedian,

I perform comedy, but I've also put together several shows by now. I'm by no means an expert, but I know this: there are a few things a comedian should have handy that really help me out in my role as a comedy booker.

First, the thing I find most useful is video. After a few shows, I've already booked all the guys in my region whom I've seen and thought were hilarious. Obviously, live stand up comedy has a reverse-shelf life: once the local crowd has seen your act, it's no good until you've either got new material or have been gone long enough for the same act to feel new again. Either way, I can't re-book the people I've seen myself right away, so it's time to hunt for new talent, and I can't go see everybody in my state who thinks they can headline.

The next best thing to seeing you live is online video. I can get a taste of your style and level of experience from video better than anywhere else I know of. Online video allows me to at least ensure that I'm not booking a rodeo clown for an elegant night of entertainment, or vice-versa. If you know of a better way to get an advance preview, I'm all ears.

The next best thing after that is a recommendation from your peers. I've heard it said that comics get more work through other comics than from anywhere else, and it rings true. While I try not to book sight unseen on someone else's word, a quality headliner's word will guarantee you a first look in my book.

But what I really sat down to write is that once you've got the gig, there are several things that are crucial to my job (and my job is to hook you up with your job).

Headshot: once you're on the ticket, you have to understand that it's the venue's/promoter's job to sell you, to convince the public that you are the shit, and worth laying down a few bucks to see. A good headshot helps a lot, and even a bad photo is leagues better than nothing at all. I've stared at a few posters in my graphic editing application, wishing I had something to put in the area marked: "performer." In this age of cheap digital cameras and free Wi-Fi and social networking, there's no excuse not to have a headshot.

Bio and credits: again, somebody has to sell you. Sell your performance, your buzz, your comedy mojo, and turn it into tickets and two-drink minimums. An appealing, well-written bio gives potential ticket-buyers an idea of what to look forward to, and credits give them reason to believe you're legit ("He must be good, he's been on Comedy Central..."). Places you've performed, the names you've shared the stage with, placement in comedy competitions, all of these change the gray area in somebody's head into an expectation of quality and a fun night out.

I've spoken to a lot of comics and read a lot of online laments that the comic's job is solely to be funny. Period, end of sentence. I wish that were the case, and that seats would just magically fill up at every show, but they just don't. People need some persuadin'. And it's not like anyone's asking you to hand out 500 flyers or bring everybody you know. Just get your shit together and make yourself minimally marketable.

I spoke to a comedy veteran in the area a while back, a very respectable name in this area. After I'd booked him for the show, I asked him about photo, bio, credits. I picked up a very tepid vibe when he mumbled that it's "on the website." (At least he had one, and thank Christ for that, but that's a rant for another day). With a suspicious dread, I visited his website. While he had two headshots, one was inappropriate for the venue, and the other looked like a post office/FBI mugshot, and was the size of a postage stamp. When it comes to graphics, size matters, baby! Headliners often have to be blown up to twice the size of the feature act to visually explain their prominence, and I can't do that with a digital photo the size of a driver's license photo.

His bio was helpful, but painfully bland and non-specific. It mentioned several comedy competitions, but none by name. If I were to sum it up, it would be that "Joe Headliner was born in the Bay Area, and is real funny." Nothing about his style, nothing about who he'd performed with, no reason to care. And this is a genuinely funny guy, who I've seen and liked and who has been in the business for decades! I know he's got more in the tank than this!

Finally, some contact information; an e-mail address (checked daily) and a cell phone number are a must. If something happens at the last minute or you're running late, I would cut the throats of my own children to be able to contact you immediately. Beyond that, other reasons to stay in touch are self-evident. A business card is fantastic: it is handy and portable and shows that you have enough commitment to your craft to invest twenty bucks in your own career.

A comic's job is to be funny, I get it. But you can't just leave it at that. Most of the comics I know have booked their own shows and have run into these frustrations. Some of them have retreated back from the business end of showbiz because of it. It's no fun.

There comes a point when all players in this game have to take a somewhat holistic approach, and acknowledge that everybody has to make out, or nobody makes out, long-term. If we don't sell tickets and drinks, comedy can't happen. If you're reading this and don't have a headshot, a bio, business cards or a website, contact me, for God's sake. I've got some experience with attaining these things (on the cheap, if necessary), and would be thrilled to help you equip yourselves with these basic tools.

And besides, every comic knows that the fuller a room is, the better the show will be. Let's work together and put together a killer night of comedy.

Love,

Tom Bickle
HumorMeComedy.com